My iPhone Says I’m a Baller and I’m Going With It
When I try to type “napper,” my phone autocorrects to “baller.”
Usually I’m writing something about the baby when this type-o occurs (e.g. “she will NOT be a car-only napper, so help me God”), but sometimes I’m the one who’s napping. I got to thinking after so many of these corrections that maybe my phone isn’t wrong. I am an impressive napper, so maybe that makes me also a baller?
By “impressive” I do not mean my naps are long. I mean, I wish they were but I also wished for lots of children and those two wishes are not compatible.
I mean that I can — and do, oh so often I do — decide at 2:54 p.m. once the baby has fallen asleep to let Ruby watch a show so I can nap for 11 minutes on the couch before my 3:05 p.m. alarm wakes me to get Clay off the bus. I’m asleep within seconds, and the eleven minutes of sleep refreshes me. Sometimes I feel guilty for not prepping broccoli for dinner instead of snoozing but mostly not. I can get to the broccoli later, and if not, well then we get to have cereal for dinner and guess what? The kids prefer that anyway.
The only real downside is that if I don’t lay just right, I arrive at the bus stop with sleep creases on my face and feel outed. Usually I just stay seated while I sleep to avoid this. It’s only eleven minutes, after all.